Hi there! I’m Dave Segal, a disingenuous white liberal trying desperately to score points with racial minorities I secretly fear and disdain. To be honest, guys, I have no counterargument to anything you’re saying. In fact, I myself know perfectly well that blacks are more criminal than whites, and I live my life accordingly. I’m pretty sure I’ve still got the readers brainwashed, though, so I figure if I switch to talking about “racial purity” out of nowhere and then tell them you can’t get laid (little bit of projection, there), they won’t notice that you’re right about everything. Hey, what’s that falling from the sky in the direction of my three hideous arachnoid heads?